From Bean to Sprout

a first time mom's forray into parenthood

I’m A Rage-Aholic January 22, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — frombeantosprout @ 7:55 pm

Those of you who know me, know that I can fly off the handle pretty quickly. What can I say, the French Canadian in me gets all fired up sometimes. Well this winter has definitely sent me into a bit of a rage. It’s not necessarily that it’s been freaking cold most days interspersed with days where it thaws enough to drop a crapload of snow and then freezes again. I can live with that, I know it’s to be expected what with living in Canada, especially in Ottawa. No what sends me into a rage most winter mornings is getting my kids dressed for the outdoors. Holy hell what a production it has become to get those two out the door. It’s getting harder and harder with Freddy becoming more mobile and with Henry becoming more defiant.

I used to be able to just threaten Henry with the idea that I would leave him behind. That would send him scurrying to me in a panic, begging me to take him with me. Then slowly I had to start actually going outside for him to panic. Now, when I say “I’m leaving without you, you’re going to stay home alone” he pretty much shrugs his shoulders, says “bye!” and continues playing. Meanwhile I have little Freddy writhing around on me, screaming his head off as I try and put him in his snowsuit/bunting like if I’m pouring hot molten lava on his bare skin. Once I have him dressed, I clip him in the bucket seat which I know I will have to replace sometime soon since he’s almost to the point of outgrowing it, but for now, it’s really convenient being able to immobilize one of two kids. So now I’m rocking a shrieking Freddy in the car seat while trying everything in my power to coax Henry to put his boots and jacket on. Without fail, every morning it’s a fight. I’ve even gone to the point where I go outside, put Freddy in the car, start the car, run back in and tackle Henry one on one. He doesn’t even register that I’ve left the house because he’s so into his make believe play. So then I come back inside and my voice is raised to “threat level” and I say in an ice cold voice “Henry, put your boots and jacket on….NOW!” and that’s usually when he runs to me and informs me that he’s pooped. Yep, pooped. So now I’m really in a rage that I have to take all my stuff off quickly, and change Henry’s diaper with lighting speed while I’m telling him “take your pants off, take them off, help me out a bit here, Freddy is in the car waiting, hurry up! COME ON! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COOPERATE WITH ME FOR ONE FREAKING SECOND!!!” and he’s just lying there like a limp noodle while I try and force his pants back on. I often have to turn around and take a breath to collect myself and stop myself from channeling all my rage and frustration and punching a hole in the drywall.

So now he’s clean and finally cooperative but it still takes time to put those boots on, then the jacket. And the freaking zipper on those kids winter jackets is a pain in the butt. I remember seeing a comedian joking about zipping up kids jackets and how frustratingly complicated it can get and I have to totally agree. Here I am, trying to zip this thing up, while I have a kid kind of dancing and swaying and not helping one bit and the stupid zipper is getting caught on everything on it’s way up. What should take approximately 2 seconds for a normal human being takes about 10. 10 long seconds where I’m thinking of Freddy in the car in the garage, probably screaming his head off in anger.

When Henry is finally dressed, we then go out through the garage and I swear, he stops at the top of the stairs that go down into the garage and assesses everything he sees. Or he says a little prayer or something. Whatever it is, he takes his sweet time walking down those stairs. I’m going “Hurry Henry, HURRY! We’re going to be late!” while he slowly meanders down those stairs and I’m glancing back into the house making sure our cat Purrl doesn’t try and make a mad dash to the outside world as I keep the door open because the kid ain’t budging.

So that’s my morning. EVERY MORNING! By the time we’re in the car, my anger and rage are gone. We sing on our way to wherever we’re going. But every morning, when I wake up, I know we’re going to have to go through this process again. I have no idea what I’m going to do when I have to go back to work and am on a tighter schedule. Nowadays if  I know we have to be gone by 9am, I start the process at 8:40 and we still leave later than expected. I’m going to have to force some cooperation with this kid. Maybe I could bribe him with chocolate or something. Or pray that spring comes early this year.

Free to a good, patient home

Free to a good, patient home

 

Henry fiddling around with my phone while I ran around getting ready.

Henry fiddling around with my phone while I ran around getting ready.

 

Ok, this has nothing really to do with this post, but how freaking cute is this?

Ok, this has nothing really to do with this post, but how freaking cute is this?

 

Out cold after a long car ride freak out.

Out cold after a long car ride freak out.

 

 

 

 

Goodbye Atticus January 8, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — frombeantosprout @ 8:08 pm

Well it’s been a while. I haven’t updated since before Christmas since I’ve had so much on my mind. I try and be fairly honest about what’s happening in our lives with this blog and I felt like I couldn’t write a little fluff piece at the time. About two weeks before Christmas, our cat Atticus was having bladder issues.  He’s had this before. In 2009, he had crystals that required emergency surgery at the after hours vet. Ever since then, he’s been on a special since then to prevent it. So when he started displaying signs of another bladder problem, I brought him to the vet and they gave him a pain reliever and some antibiotics saying it was a UTI. I was so relieved that it wasn’t crystals again since Chris and I had discussed that we wouldn’t put him through that ordeal again. I took him home and started giving him the drugs. After about 3 days he started howling in pain again (about when the pain reliever shot he had received wore off) so I brought him back to the vet and they gave him more pain relief and some anti inflammatory drugs to take alongside his antibiotics in order to help with the pain. Well once the antibiotics were over, he was still going to the littler more often than normal and there was still blood in his urine. I called the vet and they said the next step would be ultrasound to make sure there’s no kidney stone problems. So on December 18th, the day of his ultrasound, the vet called and told us that they discovered a mass in his bladder consisted with cancer. I was just on my way to Henry’s daycare Christmas party when they called and I was devastated. They told us that they could refer him for surgery but that it would be very invasive, costly and probably wouldn’t do anything. They told me that some cats, if they’re on anti inflammatories, could live for up to 8 months with this type of cancer. I wasn’t ready to make a decision right then and there. I know that was selfish of me, but Christmas was right around the corner and aside from his frequent peeing, he was still his normal, slightly angry, miserable and constantly hungry self. So we decided to keep giving him the drugs and play it by ear.

Well after Christmas, we realized he had been peeing on the front hall mat like he couldn’t control himself. We knew we couldn’t have him doing this with two kids running around, especially with Freddy who’s crawling around like crazy so we made an appointment to have him put down on December 30th (this was on the 28th). Well by some miracle, he started getting better, so on the morning of the 30th, I made the decision to cancel the appointment. We had a good week but then last weekend he started fading again. Atticus was always consistent in giving us a 2 hour warning window for his dinner time. He’d always start bugging us around 4pm until his 6pm dinner time, often making us trip over him and howling for food. Well he didn’t do that on Sunday. When I looked at him, he just looked exhausted. His fur was getting a bit matted as well, like if he hadn’t been cleaning himself as much as he usually did. I picked him up and realized he had lost a lot of weight in the past 3-4 weeks. Still I kept hoping for the best. The next morning though, he started trying to pee on our winter boots. Chris brought him down to the litter and while he was emptying the litter box, Atticus tried to go and basically was peeing blood. We decided then that it was time. Poor little guy. We called the vet and they were able to give us an appointment that very morning. Had they told us it would be a few days, I would have probably wavered again like I did on the 30th.  It’s such a heartbreaking decision to make. I had read an article online that a vet wrote about euthanizing your pet. He said that people often ask him “is it too soon? Should I have waited a bit longer?” His answer, which really resonated with me was “It’s better to do this a week to early rather than an hour too late”. And it’s true. I don’t know what I would have done had we come home one day to find Atticus writhing in pain, or worse, dead in the house due to my lack of courage.

I know some of you reading this might think “it’s only a cat”. Well that cat was a part of my family. He was the first being I was responsible for taking care of once I moved out and started living on my own. He was there during some rough times and happy times. He would cuddle with us while we slept and purr so loudly that it was like we had a living, breathing sound machine to lull us to sleep. He was hilarious. He would run around in the middle of the night and yell out what sounded like “HELLO???”  He would shove his head deep into people’s shoes when they came to our homes, and just stay there, like it was the best thing ever. Also, when people would come visit, he would insist on smelling their breath. He’d come right up to them and lift himself up on his hind legs to get closer to your mouth. I’m convinced this was a measure to ensure everyone who visited us had a soul. God help the person who failed whatever test he was giving them with that breath test. He loved fresh air. He would open the screen door and then just go lie on the back patio, soaking up the sun and getting his fur all nice and warm to cuddle with. He was incredibly patient with the boys despite my fears that he wasn’t. He was a terrible second in command according to his sister Purrl but she can be a tad extreme. All these memories bring back a mixture of happiness and sadness at the same time. He was only 8 years old. Theoretically he could have had another 10-12 years but his time was cut short. He was memorable and he was mine. He was family. I miss him tremendously, I always will.

My very first picture of Atticus. He saw his meal ticket the second he saw me. While all the other kittens were playing around with each other, he marched right up to me, sat in my lap and started purring.

My very first picture of Atticus. He saw his meal ticket the second he saw me. While all the other kittens were playing around with each other, he marched right up to me, sat in my lap and started purring.

 

Battle royale with his sister Purrl

Battle royale with his sister Purrl

 

Purrl making sure Atticus learns the proper ropes of perimeter surveillance.

Purrl making sure Atticus learns the proper ropes of perimeter surveillance.

 

Making sure my cousin Antoine had a soul.

Making sure my cousin Antoine had a soul. He just barely passed the test.

 

Atticus had an excellent poker face.

Atticus had an excellent poker face.

 

Henry put this hat on Atticus' head. The hat remained on for a good two hours. No point in wasting a good nap just to get something off your head.

Henry put this hat on Atticus’ head. The hat remained on for a good two hours. No point in wasting a good nap just to get something off your head.

 

Atticus loved to unwind after a long day of sleeping by enjoying a cool Mexican beer. We always limited it to one beer because he was an angry drunk

Atticus loved to unwind after a long day of sleeping by enjoying a cool Mexican beer. We always limited it to one beer because he was an angry drunk

 

Showing his immeasurable patience with Freddy.

Showing his immeasurable patience with Freddy.

 

Sunning himself on his perch.

Sunning himself on his perch.

 

My very last picture of Atticus. Rest In Peace buddy.

My very last picture of Atticus. Rest In Peace buddy.