So it’s been a whole week since I last posted. I’m kind of disappointed in myself about that. I had all these plans of posting daily telling people all about Freddy, making sure I remained as active in the blogging on my second child. Problem is, life has been kind of getting in the way. We’re two weeks in and are still adjusting to having a second little being to take care of. Our days have been melding one into another and it’s been a blur of activity. Freddy is a great baby. He doesn’t cry much, only when he’s hungry. He sleeps a lot as well and seems to be going a little over 4 hours between feedings at night (with the occasional early morning cluster feeding). Like I think he’s averaging being up for about 2 hours a day total. He just loves to sleep. He’s pretty gassy to which hurts him often and makes him spit up more than Henry did, but we can live with that. I bought so probiotic drops for him and hope that will help. I had forgotten how noisy babies are when they sleep. With Henry, every single noise he made I’d jump up and run to the bassinet to make sure he was ok. This time, I roll over and say to myself “can’t you sleep quietly?” I think our approach overall is different this time around. A few people have mentioned a lack of tension, one which I carried when Henry was a newborn.
I used to get so stressed hearing Henry cry when he was this age. Now it doesn’t seem so bad compared to the freak out tears of a toddler. Yeah, things haven’t been easy with Henry lately. Especially this past weekend with him being sick. We could handle one kid being up every few hours at night. Having both be up at night, at different times, is tough. Thank god Chris is home for another 2 weeks, we’ve been splitting parenting duties at night. I feed Freddy, he deals with Henry who seems to be regressing with his sleep, up all night crying. Henry’s been a lot more clingy with me lately too. He loves Freddy with all his heart, but I’m certain he’s noticed a bit more of a divide in attention. He wants to be with me all the time. At night, he wants me to read to him and put him down for bed. When I’m nursing, he wants to sit in my lap. If he doesn’t get his way, it’s meltdown city. This morning I was trying to get him ready for daycare and he wanted to go out our back door, not the front, so he lost it and was flailing his hands around and scratched my face right at the corner of my eye. I kept hearing that toddlers have tantrums but I sometimes feel like we’re the only ones going through these ups and downs. Luckily most of my friends with toddlers have confirmed that they’ve all been through this. I swear, the Hulk is modeled after a 2 year old kid not getting his way.
Anywho, all this leads me to the actual topic I wanted to discuss. I think I mentioned this in a previous post while I was pregnant. I had wondered out loud “how do you know you’re done having kids?” At the time I didn’t feel strongly one way or another. If I was honest, I was leaning more towards wanting another child but I think deep down, it was me wanting another kick at the can to have a girl. Now that Freddy is here, I look at him and Henry and feel complete. I love them with all my heart; tantrums, midnight feedings and all. I have everything that I need and want with my boys and to be honest, I don’t know if I have it in me to go through this all again. I’m eagerly looking forward to my boys being a bit older and a bit more self sufficient. As Roger Murtaugh (aka Danny Glover) famously said “I’m too old for this sh*t”… and recently, I mean that literally.