I’m throwing myself a pity party today.
Guests: Myself and anyone willing to listen to me complain for a few minutes.
It’s been 3 nights now with Henry not sleeping well and waking up almost every hour. I kind of feel like I’m going insane. Although he seems to physically be better, he’s still incredibly clingy and stuffed up so he cries a lot at night if he’s away from one of us. I missed out on a Supperworks session last night because of his illness (Chris went for me) and I’m going to have to cancel my date for tomorrow morning for the Glebe garage sale in hopes of just sleeping in while Chris stays with Henry. I’m so grateful for Chris’ patience with all this because last night after having woken up about 4 times (and it was only 2am) I kind of got angry with my little guy telling him to shut up and sleep and then feeling terrible about saying it. Chris got up and took Henry for a few minutes while I collected myself. Unfortunately I can’t ask Chris to take a day off every time we have a bad night. Had I known we’d have 3 nights in a row, I wouldn’t have asked him to stay on Wednesday and asked for today instead.
Aside from Chris’ mom Pat who consistently comes every week to take Henry for a few hours, giving me a chance to nap, run errands,etc; pretty much all the original offers of “hey, I’ll come and look after the little guy while you take a few hours for yourself” have dried up in the past couple of months.
I’m going to caveat this next paragraph by saying that I totally love my little guy and wouldn’t want to live without him, there are a few things that I really miss, pre-baby. Such as:
– Sleeping for more than 3 hours in a row (even though he can sometimes sleep longer, my body won’t let me sleep longer than 3 without waking up to check that he’s still alive).
– Falling asleep right away instead of doing insane sleep math like “well he went down 20 minutes ago, and if he’s being consistent that give me 2 hours of sleep if I fall asleep….NOW!… come on…. NOW!”
– Wearing regular bras and regular tops
– Having a few beers with Chris while just chilling and talking about our day
– impromptu outings that require no planning
– being able to run more than one errand a day
– going out to dinner and a movie
– enjoying a social outing with constantly overthinking Henry’s every move such as “he looks hungry, is he rooting? Are these people comfortable with me breastfeeding in front of them? Is he about to freak out? What he nothing calms him down tonight?”
– spending hours at Chapters with a Starbucks hot chocolate in hand and just browsing books on every topic.
So those are a few things I truly miss. I kind of feel like I need a vacation. And before anyone says “but Melina, you’re on mat leave, that’s like a year long vacation!” let me stop you there, thus saving us both the time and hassle of me tearing you a new one.
Alright, the Pity Party is officially over. Time to be the responsible adult again.
Showing that not everything is soo bad, here’s a cute pic of Henry.